Accomplishment or Comfort?

Leadership.  Leading people is a huge responsibility.  When you think of Leadership what do you think of?  Is it a President of a company?,  a manager of a corporate division?, how about a pastor or elder?  One of the leading authorities on Leadership today is John Maxwell.  John says in his books,  "leadership is not a position it is influence."  I believe very strongly in that.  

Many people today have authority over a person.  Example a manager of a restaurant might have the authority to hire and fire someone and make them do something that they may or may not want to do.   My question is this, "Do you have influence in their life?"  You see it is much easier to have someone do something they are supposed to do if you have influence in their life.  The only way you can get influence into someones life is not by telling them what to do but to have their TRUST.  You see once you gain someones trust and they know your truly for them they will submit to your leadership.  The question to men is what are you doing to build influence into peoples lives?  If you want to lead, truly lead you must build a relationship with the people you are to lead.  It is totally contradictory to what culture tells you to do.  Being vulnerable and open is not what today's men are to be about.  Men today are supposed to be the John Wayne type.  Alone, strong, and self confident in your abilities, at least that's what the culture today tells men.  Let me say this, the culture is wrong.

Are you a father, husband, big brother, or perhaps a manager, shift supervisor, or Sunday school teacher?  If you are any one of these things you are a leader.  To lead you have to be uncomfortable and be willing to learn.  Most men today demand respect but are much less likely to give it.  To men respect is like water, they not only need it they will do almost anything to get it.  Here is the important root of respect.  You must not be passive in getting it, but you can not demand it without learning how to get it!

Men today do their work and then come home and veg out on the couch and let their wife do all the work with the kids.  Most men spend much more time watching sports center or playing golf than reading with their kids and asking them how their day at school was.  Kids and wives seem distant from their father.  Why?  Because fathers don't invest in their kids or wife as much as they should.  The best way for a man to invest in their wife and kids is to ask questions about their day, their life, and their dreams.  

Men today are passive, they would much rather let the wife raise the kids, discipline the kids, met with the teacher during parent teacher conference, and talk to them when they have questions about life.  Let me say this, if your wife is doing this it is not because they are wanting to do it, it is because their is a void of leadership in the family and it is a Godly husband and Godly father who is missing.  Passive men are like leaches.  Yes you heard me like a leach.  Because of their passivity in leading their family by taking an active role they are sucking the life and future out of a loving, caring relationship with their wife and children.

Men, your wife and kids are like a bank.  Every day you will either make a deposit or a withdraw from their account.  If you love your wife and kids and speak to them in a manner that they need you make a deposit.  Every day you ignore them to watch sports center and not talk with them or show them your love you make a withdraw.  Here is the question you must ask yourself, actually its a question if you want the truth you need to ask your wife and kids.  Here is the question.  "Is your wife's account in the positive or have you made too many withdraws and the checks are bouncing?"  If your wife is not giving you the respect you crave odds are her bank account is in the negative and you have not made enough deposits.  If your kids don't come and talk with you about their problems at school or with their friends odds are they have a negative account balance also.  

If you are to lead and have influence and get the respect you crave, you must become uncomfortable and venture out and gain influence by developing a real relationship with the people you lead.  If you don't know you to gain influence then you need to talk with me or with a true man of God who will teach you and disciple you.

God Bless and remember Real men are fighters like Gideon, David, Moses, and Jesus!  Real men are not afraid to get their hands dirty and roughed up by doing the work of Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit to bring honor to God.

Brandon Hein